
[creepy as hell]
From Simmons book,
“I could recognize a package of bacon at twenty feet. The strips of bacon looked so weak, so flimsy, so sad, until they hit the frying pan. Then they began swimming and dancing, lacing up at the sides and turning golden brown.”
Now onto Mother’s Day,
Sadly, I ordered flowers and my mother didn’t receive them. I asked if she wanted something tangible in place of the flowers. The email back read:
“I would like a Richard Simmons exercise DVD. He has lively ones with good music. Stop laughing. I could do it over the summer. Something with strength building, not just aerobics.”
I told my mom that she was absolutely insane and that Richard Simmons was outdated. She wrote back:
“If you can find a better DVD with cool music, that would be great, but not any RAP stuff. Simmons is still making DVDs.”
The only DVD’s I found were from the 80′s on amazon, all under $10 new. The hardcover book (pictured above) runs used for .01 cent’




















