Best Quotes from True Blood – Season 4, Episodes 1 – 6

The newest season of True Blood is in full swing, and I’m loving each and every episode as much (or maybe even more) than the kick-ass 2nd season. Besides the intriguing mythology, twisted story-line, and sexy vampires (& nudity); one of the reasons I’m attracted to the show is because of it’s dark humor and witty dialogue. Here’s a list of my favorite quotes so far from S.4 that any TB fan will appreciate.

Go here for my pick of quotes from episodes 7-12.

// SPOILER ALERT //

Episode 6 – “I Wish I Was the Moon”

Pam (to amnesic Eric): “Let me tell you a little something about King Bill: He is a self-loathing, power-hungry, pompous little dork, and you hate his guts.”

Maxine: “That boy’s dumber than a bucket of spit, and just as useful.”

Bill (to Sookie): “Believe it or not, my entire existence does not revolve around what or who is between your legs.”

Pam (to amnesic Eric): “Eric, snap the f##k out of it. You are a Viking vampire and a god and you bow to no one. If someone crosses you, you rip out their liver with one fang.”

Arlene: “The ghost of my serial-killin’ ex-fiance just tried to murder us in our sleep. We’re just peachy”

Episode 5 – “Me and the Devil”

Bill (to Pam about her veil): “Oh good, the world needs more beekeepers.”

Lafayette (to Marnie): “Hookah, you pissed off another vampire and then you took a goddamn nap.”

Pam (to Bill): “Convene your sheriffs so we can kill this uppity wiccan c##t.. your majesty.”

Portia (to Bill, her great grandfather): “Fact: Incest is only taboo because of the potential for genetically morbid offspring.”

Sookie (to Marnie): “When I was a kid, my two favorite TV shows were Sabrina and Charmed!”

Episode 4 – “I’m Alive and on Fire”

Sookie (to Eric): “You drank the whole fairy. Now go to your room!”

Sam: “Tommy’s lucky a lioness has his back.”

Sookie (to Eric): “There’s big gators in there you big Viking. They’ll bite your thing off.”

Episode 3 – “If You Love Me, Why Am I Dyin’?”

Pam (sucking on a moaning fang-banger): “Dial it back a notch or two. You’re starting to piss me off.”

Eric: “I know I’m a vampire, Snookie.”
Sookie: “It’s SOOKIE!”

Pam: “Did I miss something? Are we girls now? Did we join a book club and read some queer chick lit memoirs and are bound together by estrogen or sisterhood some other feminist drivel?”

Pam: “You have 24 hours to bring her to me, or I’ll personally eat, f#&k and kill all three of you.”

Sookie: “You killed my fairy godmother!”
Eric: “Sorry. (childish smile)”

Episode 2: “You Smell Like Dinner”

Nan Flanagan (to Bill): “Go clean yourself up. You’re covered in queen.”

Lafayette: “That’s the calming influence of that Asian pu##y at work.”

Eric: “You’re blood tastes like freedom, Sookie. Like sunshine in a pretty blond bottle.”

Jason (to the in-bred panther kid making out with his head): “It’s not that I don’t appreciate all of the lickin’. ‘Cause I do. But I’m more of a Band-Aid kinda guy.”

Pam: “Technology takes all the fun out of being a vampire.”

Episode 1: “She’s Not There”

Terry: “When I was a kid, I used to put a squirrel head on a lizard body and invent animals.”

Eric: “Who would you refer to trust? A politician or a vampire?”

Jason: “I’m not saying something happened right now. But if something did happen, it didn’t happen.”

Pam: “The way you’re eye-f#&king fangbangers from across the room is especially romantic.”

Lafayette: “We’ll stay for five minutes. 10 if they got dranks.”

Sookie: “I have a fairy godmother? Okay, if your job is to look after me, can I just say you suck.”




Meow.

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One Response to Best Quotes from True Blood – Season 4, Episodes 1 – 6

  1. Pingback: Best Quotes from True Blood - Season 4, Episodes 7-12 | Zebra Detox: The Funniest Tasteless Blog

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