Reasons Why Planet Fitness is NOT Legit

Before I begin making fun of Planet Fitness, one of the worst gyms in existence, I must admit that I did once have a membership there [how else would I know it sucks?] But I have since been freed and go to a new gym [with classes!] All of the following pictures are straight from my phone:

1. Pizza Monday

Welcome to Planet Fatness, where on the first Monday night of each month you’re presented with stacks of greasy pizza boxes as soon as you walk in the door. On the first Tuesday morning, it’s bagels. These little “perks” have got to be two of the most hypocritical, counter-productive selling-points of a “health club” that I’ve ever seen. I mean.. seriously?! With free Pizza Monday’s and Bagel Tuesday’s.. you’re more likely to put on an ass than lose it at Planet Fitness.

By claiming to be a “judgement-free zone,” Planet Fitness appeals to the “novice” gym-goer. It offers a friendly environment for newbies to learn the ropes of exercise without being judged by others who are in better shape. Consequently, this means that around 80% of its members are over-weight (at least at my gym). Now don’t read me wrong. PF has a good idea here.. it’s just being horribly executed. Leaving a jar full of tootsie rolls on the front counter and giving members an endless buffet of free pizza once a month is nothing more than a sleazy marketing ploy used to lure new people to the gym so that PF makes more money. Planet Fitness sends a detrimental message to it’s already unhealthy and obese members that eating junk food is OK as long as you’re working out. It’s obvious that they’re more concerned with profit than actually helping over-weight people get in shape.

2. The Lunk Alarm

Lifting free weights? Don’t breathe!! The lunk alarm looms directly above the free weight section and is just waiting to hear you grunt or set a weight down too hard. Mind you, grunting is a natural physical reaction to an intense, fast-paced work-out.. but that doesn’t matter here. I’ve never actually seen this stupid alarm go off (Luckily, I don’t think they use it at my gym) but according to friend’s and members at other gyms, this ugly contraption flashes a purple light and beeps loudly whenever someone is being too noisy. A screeching siren to keep the gym quiet? Now that’s a smart idea.

3. Stupid Signs

Oh, PF.. you so cute & funny! These dumb signs are a newer addition to the gym that try a little too hard to reinforce the fact that it’s for novices: “Not allowed to hold a baby for fear you might crush them? This ain’t your gym” and “Commonly refer to steroids as breakfast? That’s ain’t your gym” Hmm.. a ‘judgement-free’ gym that judges people with muscles? Wrap your brain around that.

4. Hideous Color Scheme

I’m sure you’ve noticed by now that everything Planet Fitness is purple or yellow. EVERYTHING. I remember the first time I walked into PF and how thrown off / repelled I was by their awful color design. It’s something you never really get over and, unless you’re color-blind, it’s non-legitimacy speaks for itself.

5. Free Gym Bag

I always thought my life was missing something, then I got a free gym bag for switching my payment method to direct checking account draft! Now my life is complete. All worries and problems have instantly vanished. All thanks to PF and their cheaply made, $2 gym bag from China.

6. Classes (or lack thereof)

As you can see, Physical Education at Planet Fitness is always free. And for good reason. The ‘classes’ at PF meet at an aluminum table underneath a tacky, hanging sign that says “class meets here.” So yea, it’s a good thing you don’t have to pay anything extra for that. While practically every other fitness center chain in America offers a large variety of high-intensity work-out programs that meet in their own private rooms, PF takes a group of 2-3 people to a few random machines around the gym and passes it off as a ‘class.’ I’d rather have a dodgeball hit my face.

[Originally posted 7/16/11]




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34 Responses to Reasons Why Planet Fitness is NOT Legit

  1. Mike says:

    I like planet fitness except LOUD LOUSY MUSIC that can not be safely blocked out without using earmuff headphones.

    I do avoid the pizza because I like it. I am glad they emphasis normal healthy living and not the guys that load muscle on their fat and admire each other for it.

    I find some of their signs silly. The cleaning bit goes to far. LA Fitness is dumb because they have no cleansers but say to keep equipment clean (by wiping your sweat rag on equipment). At PF some people soak the equipment with cleaners. I think they are going to find that the excessive cleaning wears out the materials.

    I’d like to see a gym provide free loaner towels and people can uses them to sit or etc.

    I like this better than LA Fitness who had NO means of contacting customer service, left exercise equipment broken for weeks with no signs and left clocks, scales, lockers, dispensers, TVs broken for years.

    PF so far listens. Unless you ask about the loud music.

  2. John says:

    Speaking of item #4, have you seen your website? You really shouldn’t be bagging on anyone for hideous design.

    That said, you make some valid points (1 and 6), and some that are just beyond stupid (2, 3, and 5).

    Not all gyms can be everything to everyone. I’d love to find a place with Planet Fitness’s atmosphere, but with some of the amenities of Gold’s or 24 hour fitness (lap pool, group fitness, etc), but alas, I don’t think it exists.

  3. Trudy says:

    I joined online because I recently quit smoking (3 months) and am trying to get into shape.
    I was drawn in by the “Judgement Free” notices since the other major gym here is known as a “meat market.”

    Joining online, I was happy to see an offer for a gym bag, towel and water bottle. Nice. A good way to treat myself for joining and making life changes. I decided that I would claim the offer in person rather than waiting for atrocious shipping to Alaska problems we have here. The problem with that is, the employees had no idea what I was talking about, I mailed Corporate only to learn that this is a “one time offer made at end of the sign-up process.” That should have been clearer…

    I was disappointed in the level of customer service received from Corporate. I mean, Customer Service 101 would be to let me have the stinking products for the 20 bucks rather than start me off with a negative view of your company, right? What do the bags really cost them anyway?

    Then I asked (at the club) if, since as a black woman, I won’t be using the tanning equipment, could that be given to my guests or could I receive a discount. Answer: No. Liability reasons. Hmmm. Not sure why they aren’t concerned about liability relating to other things that guests do get to use, but – oh well.

    I will be using the gym strictly for the equipment, but, no, I am not impressed by the way they do things there.

  4. Gaylene says:

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  5. C. Marlowe says:

    Been a member of PF for nearly two years. If you’e grunting, you’re not breathing right. You’re holding your breath while you should be easing out as you exert force on the weight.

    The pizza and bagels and tootsie rolls are clearly a gimmick. No on is REQUIRED to eat any of it.

    Lunk alarm (which I’ve never heard go off) is also a gimmick, but one that send the message to the jackasses that do well more than grunt. They clank weights (improper form), toss them down upon completion of last rep (also improper form and also dangerous), and, in my experience, are averse to the disinfectant bottles made widely available (at PF anyway) to all so that the machine may be wiped off so others don’t have to bathe in the grease and sweat left behind.

    Most importantly, no one is required to join Planet Fitness. You don’t like it, don’t go there.

    • Anonymous says:

      I AM THE LUNK! GIVE ME DUMBELLS IN EXCESS OF 75s THAT LOOK LIKE HORSESHOES AND I WILL SHOW YOU MUSCLE. BIGGER, STRONGER, FASTER!

  6. Leaving Retro for Planet says:

    Breathing heavy while working out is not the reason the “lunk alarm” was created.

    Anyone who has been to a gym knows the sound of some meat head obnoxiously grunting.

    Those are the same guys who stare at themselves in the mirrors admiring their muscles and travel in packs.

    I am looking forward to leaving Retro Fitness which at least in my area seems like a meat head gym.

  7. Thomas says:

    I just signed up at my local PF, and I’m already thinking about canceling my membership. Several things happened that really put me off. I’ll just list them out chronologically..

    The good:
    -The initial tour (before i signed up online)
    -knowing about the pricing and monthly dues

    The next day I brought my Dominican friend to work out with me

    The bad (after signing up. first time working out in the gym):
    -This fat white chick at the front dest started chatting up with my friend like i was invisible even as i was telling her that i was a member and that he was my guest
    -As she was pulling up my info, she took my photo without even telling me anything, and laughed about it
    -Told her i wanted a medium in the free tee, she hands me an XL (If this was a joke, i wasnt laughing). I couldve easily thrown it in her face and went off on her fat ass.
    -She continues to chat up with my friend while I was trying to get her attention to remind her that he was my guest
    -She then tells me to “shut up!can you see me talking to someone? (uh…you mean my friend)… with your small ass eyes..”
    -Told her I wanted to try the Total Body Enhancement, and with a stink ass face she tells me to “just sign right there!” and made a gesture like I was retarded to my friend.
    -As I was walking away, my friend looked back at the front dest, and apparently that chick made the chinky eyes face behind my back and smiled at my friend
    -While we were working out she kept coming over asking my friend for his number.
    -my friend finally gave her his number and again she gives me the stink eye and walks away (at that point i was THIS close to launching a 35 dumbell at her. But i didnt wanna get locked up or having that iron bounce off her ass and knock me out.lol)

    Now I’m not basing my opinions about PF based on that ONE time experience. I’m just telling you guys what happened to me.

    • Don says:

      Thomas, did you tell the manager what happened? If he’s got an employee that’s putting her social life above customer service, he needs to know about it.

    • Kimberly says:

      What does her being supposedly fat have to do with anything? You say that as though it lessens her worth as a human being. Her being fat hat nothing to do with her being an a-hole.

    • Anonymous says:

      Didn’t sound like you’re “friend” stood up for you

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