Bieber Fever Vaccine, plz

Last Updated 09/13/2010

Miley Cyrus, make room. There’s another underage singer capturing the sexual attention of pedo-America.. and perhaps, other celebrities?

Enter Justin Bieber. His well-known story of success centers around him being blessed by R&B musical demi-god Usher Raymond. The place where the two artists met? A parking lot.

I hate for our blog to take the tone of a celeb gossip magazine, buttt a disturbing question has been bothering me: Why the hell was Usher so eager to sing a duet with a prepubescent teenage boy?!?

Seriously. Usher is a successful grown man who is worth millions and could get more ass than a mall Santa. So why did he choose to sign a label with a tween boy that makes lesbians jealous as opposed to a mature adult who has had time to develop their talent?

I was able to find the answer through another question:

What the ##&! is 26-year-old and slightly raunchy Kim Kardashian doing splashing around like a sicko with 16-year-old Bieber?!

I’m talking about the same Bieber who has a mom that supposedly still dictates everything he eats and originally wanted him to be a Christian singer. I’m also referring to the same Kardashian that has posed nude for Playboy and has a “leaked” sex tape. (Justin’s mom should get her priorities straight…)

In the past, Justin Bieb had jokingly (and innocently?) tweeted that Kim was his girlfriend. This caused a controversial uproar from fans and even death threats to Kim. For the record, I personally do not believe that Justin and Kim have or had anything “going on” romantically. However, it is more than creepy that Kim, the eldest in their “friendship,” still jokes about Justin in a sexual manner via twitter even after the public’s original negative reaction.

To dismiss potential rumors, an article from E! Online says that the two were at a photo shoot and confirms it was business, not pleasure. But the pictures of the “friends” creepily seem flirtatious. But is this what the public wants?

Just so my vague and under-developed satirical theme is clear: America is obsessed with taking under-age kids, then glamorizing them, sexin ‘em up, bedazzling them. Why? Because sex sells. Even if it involves a 16-year-old. For example, the rumor that Justin Bieber molested a fan went instantly viral on the web – with people everywhere searching for pictures or videos hoping to catch a glimpse. (Don’t think that this is true? Don’t believe Justin is being used as a sex icon? Just check out this unbelievable post to see the sick Bieber-related keywords that people have been searching for.)

So why are Usher and Kim Kardashian both hanging out with jail-bait? They both want that money!!

Image sources:
Justin and Usher – Photo by Kevin Mazur – © WireImage.com
Justin and Kim – Photo from INFDaily.com




Meow.

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14 Responses to Bieber Fever Vaccine, plz

  1. my boys can swim says:

    Seriously! I really like all of these vulnerable reports.

  2. regis says:

    Tweeted this!! Love

  3. KellyJ says:

    fabulous discussion.

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  6. Anonymous says:

    U Guysz R Fu&%*n Crazii

  7. Via James says:

    I JUS’ NEED SOMEBODAY 2 LUVV

  8. Zeta Jones says:

    Crack a whip on that baby doll

  9. Tammy McDaniel says:

    In my book, business is pleasure. But I would never rape anyone under 17 (I’m from WV). All ya gotta do though is liquor up the bait and anyone can hit home

  10. Kiki says:

    I want to touch the tip

  11. Mailbue Suz says:

    Kim Kardashian posed nude? When did this happen? Damnn!

  12. Tonya Banks says:

    This article is like the sex anthem of my life. I want to play in the sand with a prepubescent

  13. Gia James says:

    Get outta town. I mean- I once though of Aaron Carter as a sex symbol so I know wuz kinda goin on here. but I really don’t know if a stiffy could sprout from bieber. It would be the size of a skittle. Usher you into dat??

  14. Seth Samo says:

    HA! I wish justin was having an affair with Khloe. I like her better. She is obnoxious and sexy and looks like a man. I want her.

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