While boozing it through the VMA’s, my random as hell friend casually mentioned that he uses a Swiss anti aging cream utilizing skin-cell proteins from an aborted fetus. Naturally, I responded by giggling (…btw he’s 19 years old). Little did I know that he was being serious and this cream actually exists. I was shocked, mortified, and wanted to know how much?! I had to see what others were saying. Pro-Life activists, FREAKING: READ MORE: (more…)
Graduating from college sucks because you are thrown into the “real world” which is just a fancy word for hell. Working in a cubicle for 40+ hours a week while paying off student loans at $12/hr is a sh#ty way of life. Shoot me in the face. Some people can stand it, but I didn’t sign up to sit in front of a computer, get obese, and obtain diabetes. While at the same time being being controlled by A-holes with low T. I guess it’s time to apply for that stripper job I always see posted on Craigslist. At least they probably don’t drug test…
Right now, with a college degree, you can either get a minimum wage paying job at Burger King… or a minimum wage paying job working 60 hour weeks at a call center. I know, it’s called “getting your foot in the door,” but the work/pay scale is ridiculous and life is worth a little more to me. But wait- even if you wanted that S###y job, you can’t get it anyway. We have outsourced every job in America.
If life really sucks and you’re jobless & ugly, with morals, there is always option C (living at home). I choose option C!
Here’s an old but funny news clip of a 911 call where a police officer calls in and reports himself. The crime? The cop confiscated marijuana from suspects and made pot brownies with his wife. Once they were good and high, he thought that he “overdosed” and made the call. It must have been some good green.
I’m not sure which is more funny.. the idiot cop (it’s virtually impossible1 to overdose on marijuana) or Parella, the laughing news anchor that starts to snort.
“I think we’re dead. Time is going by really really really really slow.”
Honestly, I think it’s pretty unfair he was allowed to resign without any charges being pressed against himself or his wife. Why do I care? Besides the obvious, this serves as propaganda of the faux “lethal dangers” of pot!
1 Author’s note: Let it be known I do not refer to Urban Dictionary as a legit informational source. But most of their submitted definitions of “marijuana overdose” are scientifically true or hilarious.
Sarah Palin was asked by an interviewer what she reads to stay current. She responded tweaking like a meth addict and completely dodging the question. She answers some random bull##&! including what politicians think about Alaska.
First of all, screw anyone who thinks this is an embarrassment and agrees with the weatherman. This is hilarious. I live on the East Coast, and after 9,000 phone calls and txt messages, IM ALIVE. After hearing endless hype for days, the tragic result is that a small amount of households in America are without power for a couple days. What a disaster! Some people live their entire life without power. So in conclusion, I’m glad someone made a mockery of this gay wind storm. The news anchor is appalled and disgusted that people weren’t taking Irene seriously. WELL THEN WHY THE HELL IS HE STANDING IN THE MIDDLE OF THE STORM. I honor the naked man who flashed his junk.
It’s time to take a Xanax and prepare for an identity crisis. Your Zodiac sign may have changed. The Zodiac is based on the Sun’s position relative to Earth and the constellations. Since this was measured a long ass time ago, Earth’s alignment has changed. This suggests a 13th Zodiac sign, Ophiuchus. 2012 here we come!
Caution: You might have to change your tattoo
New Zodiac Dates:
Capricorn: Jan. 20 – Feb. 16 Aquarius: Feb. 16 – March 11 Pisces: March 11- April 18 Aries: April 18 – May 13 Taurus: May 13 – June 21 Gemini: June 21 – July 20 Cancer: July 20 – Aug. 10 Leo: Aug. 10 – Sept. 16 Virgo: Sept. 16 – Oct. 30 Libra: Oct. 30 – Nov. 23 Scorpio: Nov. 23 – Nov. 29 Ophiuchus: Nov. 29 – Dec. 17 Sagittarius: Dec. 17 – Jan. 20
Here’s another outrageous news broadcast where the reporter, Mark Jones, was somehow able to maintain his composure while interviewing crazy locals.
When this was originally broadcast on KRON 4 back in 2003, whistle tips were a fad in California that were driving whole neighborhoods insane. As seen in the video, they are a piece of metal installed inside a car’s muffler that makes an insanely loud noise that can be heard almost a mile away when the car is in motion. (“The whistles go whooo!“) Since this news report, a bill was introduced and signed into law early 2004 that banned whistle tips in California.
But this video was an instant classic that’s still circulating the net seven years later.. all thanks to Bubb Rubb and Lil’ Sis. These two “whistle fans” enthusiastically share their love of the tip and then recklessly and illegally drive away while still on camera.
“It’s decoration man, it’s just for decoration. That’s it and that’s all.”
Reporter: “You have it on your car?” Lil’ Sis: “Yeah, I got it on my car!” Reporter (super serious voice over): “It was being installed on their car.”