Category Archives: News & Affairs

I Said “Oh Lord Jesus It’s a Fire!”

“Sweet Brown” explains her horrifying experience with a house fire when she woke up to get a pop. Words cannot explain the non-legitimacy going on in this interview. To make life complete, we’ve included the original video along with two follow-up remixes.

“Well I woke up to go get me a cold pop… but then I thought someone was barbecuing. I said oh lord Jesus it’s a fire….I ran for my life, and then the smoke got me. I got bronchitis. Ain’t nobody got time for that!” WATCH VIDEOS:

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VID: Woman Wakes up w/ Random Man

HUNTSVILLE, AL [no comment regarding the location].

A man climbed on top of a garbage can in the projects, crawled through a window, and got in bed with a woman. Yes, this story sounds like your everyday casting on the 5′oclock news. But- did I mention the victims are absolutely insane crackheads? I don’t know how the newscasters kept such a straight face. I would have shit pants.

I thought this was fake the first time I watched it… (more…)

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Anti Aging Cream Uses Aborted [14 Week] Male Fetus as Active Ingredient.

While boozing it through the VMA’s, my random as hell friend casually mentioned that he uses a Swiss anti aging cream utilizing skin-cell proteins from an aborted fetus. Naturally, I responded by giggling (…btw he’s 19 years old). Little did I know that he was being serious and this cream actually exists. I was shocked, mortified, and wanted to know how much?! I had to see what others were saying. Pro-Life activists, FREAKING: READ MORE: (more…)

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For Real- Fat Smoking Baby. Lives in Shack. Parents OK with it.

The rundown: Father gave his 18-month-old son cigarettes (Why? That is unknown). The family is filming the smoking baby and smiling.. Indonesia must be a fun country. Also, the girl in the upper left picture looks like she came straight from a club while the father looks like a crack addict.

The baby is now addicted to nicotine.. he crys & gets sick without his cigs. Indonesia child protection put the baby in rehab and now he’s down to 15 cigs/day (from 40).

My question is what has the world come to? This baby can light up another using the end of an extinguishing cig. He’s extremely overweight, lives in a shack, and has a crazy face. Can this bitch even speak?

At least the baby isn’t eating glass… or being microwaved. Always look on the bright side.

This story came out earlier this summer but needed to be referenced on bestfunnyblog.. because following the lives of fat smoking babies is important.

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Worst Consecutive News Bloopers Ever!

Nothing seems to be going right in this hilarious clip from Channel 10 News (way too) live at 11. For a full minute a whole set of confused, and clearly unprepared, news anchors and cameramen ##&! everything up.

Were all the mistakes somehow related? Was someone screwing with them? WTF is going on?!

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How Michele Bachmann Copes With Migraines

This funny sketch by Funny or Die shows Michele Bachmann, the racist and homophobic female politician who wants to be President, and how she makes it through her a speech while suffering from incapacitating headaches. Her secret? Help from her flaming, yet somehow anti-gay, husband, Marcus Bachmann.. and a lot of drugs. Erin Gibson and Bryan Safi do great impersonations of the controversial & hypocritical political couple.

Click here to see more of our favorite videos from Funny or Die.

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The American Dream

The American Dream Film is an eye-opening documentary that delivers a dark [even scary] message through a witty and fun cartoon medium. Although this video was made before the Occupy Wall Street protests, and never uses these terms, it still helps define who the “1%” and the “99%” are. Everyone should take 30 minutes to watch this educational film. Did you know that The Federal Reserve is a privately-owned bank that prints and controls all of the money in the US? That a handful of individuals behind the Fed have a firm grasp over our government, our banks, and our entire economy? It’s time for America to wake up.

“The AMERICAN DREAM is a 30 minute animated film that shows you how you’ve been scammed by the most basic elements of our government system. All of us Americans strive for the American Dream, and this film shows you why your dream is getting farther and farther away. Do you know how your money is created? Or how banking works? Why did housing prices skyrocket and then plunge? Do you really know what the Federal Reserve System is and how it affects you every single day? THE AMERICAN DREAM takes an entertaining but hard hitting look at how the problems we have today are nothing new, and why leaders throughout our history have warned us and fought against the current type of financial system we have in America today. You will be challenged to investigate some very entrenched and powerful institutions in this nation, and hopefully encouraged to help get our nation back on track.” -From their YouTube description

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Eat Me Out, or Die

CAUTION! Offensive, gross, and hilarious. (I’m not just talking about the mug shot!) Sexual & disturbing article from a real police report.

Jackson County, West Virginia: A gross lady (Melissa Lee Williams) and her “estranged” husband are living in separate apartments but within the same building. On October 22, 2010, at only 6:30 p.m, Williams shows up wasted at her husband’s. Verbatim from the police report, she says to Mr. Williams and his friend: “Eat my pussy.” Then she starts to get undressed..

Melissa Lee Williams Funny Mug ShotHer husband declined giving her cunnilingus, but the other man, Adam, agreed. ..That was until he “became overwhelmed by horrible vaginal odor emitting from Melissa Williams.” (Seriously. This is straight from the report)

Naked from the waist down, Mrs. Williams gets pissed. She pulls out a knife and points it at her husband. “Somebody is going to eat my pussy or I’m going to cut your ##&!ing throat.” That’s about when the police were called and Melissa Williams was arrested for domestic assault and brandishing a deadly weapon.

Much thanks to The Smoking Gun for sharing this funny police report and mug shot.

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