UPDATE:
Because of the random nature and content of our blog, Dez and I have started noticing some interesting keywords that have directed traffic to our site. The following hilarious, but disturbing, search terms come from reports that show us how people get to ZebraDetox.
Prepare yourself. Most are the result of the sexual content of some of my previous blog posts (which satirize the music/entertainment industry rousing the sexual attention of America with underage teens). These are all real search terms that crazy people from across the world are actually googling.. and then being directed to this blog. All of these keywords have sent soon-disappointed probable pedophiles (propeds) to our site.
Keyword Hits for 2010:
Red marks disgust. Green marks funny. Purple marks uncertainty.
Updated 4/6/11 with new popular keywords:
stripper squirting water
squirt pillow
animal sex blog
cumsicle
electric tits
naked family
child taped to wall
funny facials
animaniacs sex
is willow smith a lesbian
The rundown: Father gave his 18-month-old son cigarettes (Why? That is unknown). The family is filming the smoking baby and smiling.. Indonesia must be a fun country. Also, the girl in the upper left picture looks like she came straight from a club while the father looks like a crack addict.
The baby is now addicted to nicotine.. he crys & gets sick without his cigs. Indonesia child protection put the baby in rehab and now he’s down to 15 cigs/day (from 40).
My question is what has the world come to? This baby can light up another using the end of an extinguishing cig. He’s extremely overweight, lives in a shack, and has a crazy face. Can this bitch even speak?
At least the baby isn’t eating glass… or being microwaved. Always look on the bright side.
This story came out earlier this summer but needed to be referenced on bestfunnyblog.. because following the lives of fat smoking babies is important.
[creepy as hell]
From Simmons book,
“I could recognize a package of bacon at twenty feet. The strips of bacon looked so weak, so flimsy, so sad, until they hit the frying pan. Then they began swimming and dancing, lacing up at the sides and turning golden brown.”
Now onto Mother’s Day,
Sadly, I ordered flowers and my mother didn’t receive them. I asked if she wanted something tangible in place of the flowers. The email back read:
“I would like a Richard Simmons exercise DVD. He has lively ones with good music. Stop laughing. I could do it over the summer. Something with strength building, not just aerobics.”
I told my mom that she was absolutely insane and that Richard Simmons was outdated. She wrote back:
“If you can find a better DVD with cool music, that would be great, but not any RAP stuff. Simmons is still making DVDs.”
The only DVD’s I found were from the 80′s on amazon, all under $10 new. The hardcover book (pictured above) runs used for .01 cent’
El Colacho, Spain- it’s a tradition to dress as the devil and jump over babies. This somehow protects the new-borns from el diablo. It seems like jumping over a baby would be much more scary and risky than prospective evil spirits. But whatever- we support it.
To read more about this “festival” click here
Everyone has heard the term “blog” but a lot of people don’t know what it means. Simply put- A blog is a colossal mess of media that’s organized like an electronic filing system.
In other words, they are a collection of articles, movies, pictures elect, with the newest content showing first (on the homepage). The content is usually categorized to make navigation easier since blogs usually contain a lot of SH## (You can view all of our categories on the side or top of this page). But screw blabbing about blogs- just enjoy the site! We have endless crap for you to click on.
At Zebra Detox- we collect the funniest material on the net and bring it all to one site. Make sure you bookmark us, Facebook us, or subscribe to our RSS because we update everyday!
We were submitted this random short story and had to publish it.
[Beware this is vulgar, intense, and makes no sense.]
Around with Lshanté
The setting: A cold, wet, rainy beach. Eyebawl-less fish on shore. Mid-winter.
The characters: the DJ (all the kids know the DJ! he has some stupid name or somethin. DJ 2wet2dry. he controls the ipod at the party ‘hey guys check this sh!tout’. ugh I want to plug his index finger in the toaster) 2 gays (high on K*, 23 lines a coke couldn’t hurt, ecstasy, pills with stars, pills with kats. meowwwz. a few bongs never did any wrong…) the drunk handy-tard (slurring, spilling, drooling, ‘im soakedddd. who shpillled the f’ing red stripe on my vintage tee?’) the perv (fiddling around with his nipple ring. dreaming of children with priests. a minimalist. digs lint out the button d’belly. smells it. licks it. yum. devours it.) the doctor (face bleeding, fingers wobblin round the place, jaw crunchin, shakin like a prosthetic leg, too many pills, mumbling to the gays, thinkin bout that surgery to perform in the morning.)
The bonfire doesn’t light in the rain. The doctor’s water bursts and the labor pains commence. Rain starts pissin down like it’s God hatin on our lifestyle. Toes start turning red from the hypo. I think I left my Doc Martins in the bar. But we do got them sweet drugs, this lovely wine, that Red Stripe and somehow some blessed soul smuggled in some Wild Turkey Whiskey.. Mmmm Mmmm. Lshanté love me some dat.
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